Bad Covers of Bad Songs: If I Could Turn Back Time
1989. Times were simpler then, the year Cher released the Diane Warren-penned ‘If I Could Turn Back Time’. There was no facebook, no terrorism threat on home soil, and the world was still five years away from Bieber teaching himself how to play guitar in his mother’s womb. Over the past few years there’s been an ongoing skirmish over the US military’s ‘don’t ask, don’t tell’ policy, but in 1989 it was more of a ‘if we ignore it, it will go away’ kinda thing. So when Cher decided to film the video for ‘If I Could Turn Back Time’ aboard a US battleship surrounded by far-too-happy-to-be-there naval personnel, none of the US military higher-ups ever suspected it would turn it what it did: the gayest video ever made. With full support of the US Navy to boot. With that being said, the song is, quite frankly, a turd. And the cover of it is equally smelly, but just as entertaining as watching Cher cavort half naked surrounded by shrieking sea men.